No specific events triggered this blog.
Just fragments of images and thoughts spilling out of my brain and falling upon my keyboard during the calmness of night.
There are billions of people in this world, millions within this region, and hundreds within our very own neighborhoods. There are so many of us that we affect the very planet that harvests our species. Regardless where we go we are smothered by others in an overpopulated metropolis known as civilization.
As I mature, my ability to deal with people continues to decrease at the same rate despite my open and outgoing personality. I dont think its a decreased threshold of patience, but rather a growing and quicker understanding of how people truly function.
Mankind has evolved to somewhat of a superior status from the thought of doing for itself, so its simple biology and genetic composition that makes us selfish.
How can one be up to his/her neck in people's shit as well as the toxic fumes in which they exude, yet only ankle deep in personality, depth, and character?
Some days I have to just take a time out.
Im just an average guy living in a below average world.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Dead Man Walking
Amidst many thoughts, it dawned upon me today that there is nothing more humbling than realizing your own mortality.
Seeing yourself or those you know, love, or respect - age, grow old, and/or pass makes one thing very clear......
Your time on this Earth in your current capacity is, without question, limited.
Seeing yourself or those you know, love, or respect - age, grow old, and/or pass makes one thing very clear......
Your time on this Earth in your current capacity is, without question, limited.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Bboy For Hire: Ive Got References
Life carries a suitcase of personalities. Sometimes life can be fun and happy. Sometimes, life can be boring and uneventful as we long for a reminder that we are in fact alive. Other times it can reveal its ugly inner self to be straight up cruel and unjust. Life can Punch you in the face like the Iron Black Glove of Mike Tyson or Pierce your confidence like the Lifeless Stare of a Great White Shark right before it rips you in half.
Everyone that knows me understands the struggles Ive endured to change and adapt my life on the West Coast. Hell, basically every post or conversation has to deal with the topic. Those that really know me understand the deeper struggle to change and adapt my life from what it was supposed to be towards what I want it to become.
Basically as Ive tried to settle in, make close friends, and grow my life Ive been owned by that which is my job. Ive been dedicated to my job for the opportunity given to come out to California and enjoy life from a total different perspective, but more so Ive been dedicated because I need to prove to myself I can survive this hard world to do and be anything I damn well please. My job has been a constant struggle, and not for the reasons one would think. I am capable of doing the given duties to the most precise detail, however the real challenges of the job lie outside that of the specified title. Work has moved me from the Central Valley to almost an immediate vast commute to South Bay (119 miles). The opening in South Bay was the most testing, high volume position in the entire state of California and I walked right in taking all the tasks on and slowly from that point defining the position to a level some say has never been done or endured. 9 people have held my job previously in the past 3 years, none lasting as long as I have. I became the backbone of the entire organization while enduring a new boss unfamiliar with our business, but a close and known companion to his boss whom was also new to our prestigious company. My job description at that point became to do my job, run the region, and "train my boss to know the business" as it was put to me. Are you for real?? Teach my boss how to do his job?? Well I guess someone had to do it considering his boss was also unexperienced in our field but had the papers and past salaries to be in the position. Sure, experience in shoes is the same as highly sophisticated bikes.
Ive worked insane hours. Ive missed out most weekends and evenings with the few social bonds I have created for myself. My physical training and those associated goals have suffered. Returning to school on the side to achieve those specified objectives has endured the same fate. Ive put aside many of the goals and reasons I have come to the Bay Area to focus on my job and do the absolute best I could do until my next opportunity arose.
Hence, the past few days some interesting events have taken place. First, my boss was originally terminated for his inability to do his job. Not only was he incapable of doing his job and being the team leader, he was always late and took no ownership of his position. I remember countless days calling his boss because mine was unavailable and the situation was overlooked or avoided until it got to the point it could no longer be ignored. Since being terminated, his position has been "reconsidered" and he has basically been demoted to my position. "I feel said person needs time to learn the role and will eventually be put back into the position he was removed from after he proves his knowledge and skills".
As this situation has progressed I have been doing his job and my job for the same pay. Despite taking on these unwanted responsibilities, his boss has progressively been more harsh and distant to me for no good reasons through our conversations lately. Blame for situations I wasnt involved in. Accusations which were completely unjust.
Well today it turns out there was a good reason:
I received a phone call by my boss's boss and was told to meet him in San Francisco on MY DAY OFF tomorrow. "Meet me downtown San Francisco, we'll pay you for your commute, and there are a few things I want to discuss about the companies refocus."
Okay.
After about an hour time period I basically piece everything together with no hints and respectfully return the call.
"Actually tomorrow is my DAY OFF and I would like to not spend the eve and morning of my DAY OFF worrying about the fate of this ordeal...........lets take the opportunity to meet today, regardless of where and when"
Said boss responds "Okay, meet me in the Walnut Creek region right now". You should be here in about an hour and a half.
Five minutes later Im in 6 lanes of traffic headed north, angry as all hell.
How did I get into this position? Ive done my job to the point where there could be no question about my abilities and why am I being shafted for the incompetency of my boss, despite their friendship???? How could this realistically be about to happen??
Game Face On. My friends and those reading this know me as a joking, friendly person. Some of those same people also know my seriousness and intellectual comprehension when the time is called upon to act.
So We Meet For "Lunch". How Pleasant.
I should mention I also get pulled over by the CHP and receive a non-moving violation for talking on a cellphone while driving. I was calling 411 to get information on the street address for the restaurant where we are to meet.
Anyways.
I park at Safeway to avoid paying the meters and figure the walk will clear my thoughts of what exactly Id like to say. An overwhelming concentration of older, hot women are on display with the task of filling their pantries while their hard at work significant others pay the tab. One pauses and smiles as we cross paths. Yeah baby, I know................right now Ive got business to take care of. Ill look you up later.
As I descend upon my fate I stand next to a young hippy strumming his miniature guitar as he patiently waits for the flickering white stick figure to flash indicating its safe to cross the street. From my perspective, this guy doesnt have a care in the world. He's playing a song, nodding his head as he probably sings the lyrics from within. I bet I could play that track on Guitar Hero I think to myself. Next to Beck is a family of three. Looks like a little midday shopping trip to the expensive stores of the strip. Mom and Dad interacting with their daughter as they all gaze at a purse with a gold buckle that reflects a fraction of the sun's rays directly into my polarized sunglasses. I could probably live for 3 months off that virtual bling. Look at us as we stand here waiting for authorization to continue our journeys. 3 groups of people having 3 total different outcomes of their day. One group appreciates the material gifts life can bring. Another appreciates a simpler satisfaction. Then there lies me, calmly debating life's irony and un-relentlessness. Instantaneously throughout the world everyone goes through their own individual experience of the countless faces of life forementioned. Within a few seconds the traffic lights change and we all depart upon our individual fate with different strides that separate our bond and commonplace.
Interaction as I see my boss's boss ahead.
(Smiling)"Hi Mike, thank you for meeting with me so quickly"
Me: "Fuck You"
Okay I didnt really say that part.
Me: "Hello ----, Ive been contemplating the course of this conversation since you brought this meeting to my attention so suddenly today. Basically, Ive figured out everything that I assume is about to be said". (Also somewhat smiling)
Boss Man: "Okay well if thats the case lets hear where you assume Im headed".
Me: "Well, my boss's inabilities to do his job has brought about his demotion into my position. You dont have the payroll to have us both doing the same job, so you have decided that you are going to utilize my abilities in another location to settle the issue. I figure first you are going to praise me for the job I have done and convince me the relocation to East Bay is a promotion and an opportunity by giving me a small increase in pay which probably wont justify the gas and time involved. If I dont buy that route and pass on your offer, I have a strong suspicion you will change the conversation to the fact that since my boss couldnt do his job, my work wasnt satisfactory and this is a chance to redeem myself and save my job."
Boss Man: Absolutely Speechless.
Tick Tick Tick. Random thoughts fill my mind throughout the course of the day as I my brain goes into hyperdrive in a fight or flight response. Damn its cold up here I think to myself. I always underestimate how cold the San Francisco area is with the Bay Winds, especially spoiled by the warmth of San Jose. My contacts are killing me today. I shouldve prolly worn my glasses to give my eyes a break but figured they would adapt as the day progressed. Why am I even in this situation, Im so above this job and I shouldve gotten another one by this point which pays more or requires me to work less hours and weekends. Oh yeah, my workload doesnt really allow me time to aggressively search for another position.
Boss Man: (voice struggling with stress as it changes tones like a teenage boy going through puberty) Mike, I really like you. I feel you are a talented individual that has the ability to go far with us, so Id like to take you out of the situation you are in and put you in a little lower volume region where I can really dial your skills." The tension in his voice wasnt from fear naturally, but instead that of knowing he was being unfair. My boss's replacement was from the area he was attempting to send me as an easy fix.
This is straight up insulting. Im not a moron. Damn my eyes really hurt.
Me: "I apologize for the red eyes, Ive been struggling with my contacts all day today. Honestly, I dont completely believe your reasonings as these issues have never been raised before and I can sense the tension in your voice. I understand the position you are in and Id like to know my options. What if I say no? I purposely researched San Jose from 3000 miles away and decided ultimately that was where I fit into The Bay. The riding is fantastic. The beach is so close. Its always sunny and warm. It took me months to find an apartment in San Jose while commuting from Central Valley because this is where the company wanted me to be. This is where the company needed me. I have since settled. Ive found my routine and comforts. I know when and where roads will be jammed or empty. I know where to get the best pizza in the city. I know where and what nights all the best house music in San Jose is offered. I know how to get to everything I need to know to survive.
What are my realistic options?"
Boss Man: "Well basically, you are due for a review of your work. I could give you a raise to compensate you for this change or commute"
Me: "My review was due in March. Its August. You want to give me a small increase in pay based on the fact that my work in San Jose wasnt satisfactory? This doesnt make much sense to me ------. My recently demoted boss and I talked after your initial phone call as he told me of your attempt to send him this same route and his instant refusal"
Boss Man: "Mike. Please make this transition easy on me. You are single right. You'll love being more north, a fresh look at Bay Life. Ill talk to HR and see what I can do about a pay raise."
Me: "Honestly, this company has been a let down in just about every way since Ive jumped aboard. The only reason Ive endured the situation was because I wasnt ready to give up and go back East. No Job means I have to move home considering the crippling cost of life here. I dont desire to be where my boss is or where you are career-wise. My chosen path is a different choice. Why dont you pink slip me, and then the company can pay me to find a new job?"
Boss Man: Speechless
Maturity works in funny ways. A few years ago Id be so scared to be sitting on this chair facing upper management. Today, I am focused, blunt, and owning this conversation. Absolutely no fear, no vulnerability to corporate tactics. I watch his body language as he searches for answers. Silence fills the cool, sunny air. My short hair blows in the wind. The sun feels so good as it warms my skin. The heat of its rays feel like a hot water bottle made to soothe your entire body. I take in the majestic landscape of blue skies, light brown grassy hills, and contradicting sporadic dark green forestry that paints the jagged canvas as I contemplate my fate in the void of a response.
Boss Man: "What Id like you to do at this point is consider what we've discussed. I need you to help me with this, and Ill see what I can do for you. Think about this situation through the course of your day off. If you decide to help me out, this will pay off for you later down the line as Ill be a significant resource for you as you seek those positions you mentioned. You are a very talented individual. If you decide otherwise, you will be scrutinized in your current position and corrective actions will be taken very aggressively."
I pause. I look the man in his face, deep into his eyes. He's almost totally grey with a few speckles of a brownish/redish hue which must have been that of his original hair color. He's overweight but not obese, he could stand to ride some. His foot is shaking as its crossed upon his other leg. We exchange deep stares. We size each other up.
Me: "Well Ill consider everything we discussed today. Basically I need to suffer the consequences of my boss's inability to do his job thoroughly. Thanks for your time today and dealing with this situation immediately so I didnt have to sleep on this conversation"
A firm handshake.
Boss Man: "Id like you to go visit all the clients you will be covering in this area. Take the rest of the day to do so and see what you think. A few of the guys are expecting you"
Yeah, a few guys like those that Ive lead for the past 7 months in which depend on me to support them through the companies ever changing roles and business plans. Ive got to the point I anticipate those changes and have my crew ready for the ever accumulating workload. I know a few of those same guys are expecting me to tell this guy to go straight to hell.
So I do what any self respecting human being would do, I go home. I decide the workday was long enough despite his instructions and as I head south, I turn my phone to the 'off' position. Windows Up and the World Closed Out, I bask in the sun through my windshield listening to the air pass over my ride and the workload of my 4 cylinder engine as I slice my way through 6 lanes of traffic like a virtual game of OutRun.
Sometimes the sun feels so good. Despite its harsh effects I wish I could capture its pleasure in pill form.
"Why have I even allowed myself to be in this position with all the talents I have to offer?", I think to myself.
This will not be my demise. Im stronger than this, I know. California's constant resistance must eventually become futile and with good reasoning to explain its never ending bullying.
I hope........
Tests can be fun and challenging as long as they are indexed and one knows of their eventual end.
Im hungry, I think Ill eat. I got some leftover garlic, whole wheat pizza I could have warmed and ready to eat within minutes upon arrival at my pad. Ill take out these contacts which have me in complete agony. Take a long, hot shower to allow myself to relax. Maybe Ill sleep for a bit as Im still recovering from a past weekend owned by work.
One thing is certain - hours from now the saturating sweat, deep basslines, and floetic body movements of total release await my arrival as the warm California Sun succumbs to the cool, clear darkness of Night.
What will I do? Will I tell this guy and his joke of a company to kiss my skinny, white ass? Or will I do what the Ordinary Joe would do - hang my head in embarrassment of my own mortality and need for a paycheck, take the position and its joke of a pay raise to inconvenience my life to another level - yet again. Thus, ultimately waiting until I can work my way into something else?
To Be Continued.
Everyone that knows me understands the struggles Ive endured to change and adapt my life on the West Coast. Hell, basically every post or conversation has to deal with the topic. Those that really know me understand the deeper struggle to change and adapt my life from what it was supposed to be towards what I want it to become.
Basically as Ive tried to settle in, make close friends, and grow my life Ive been owned by that which is my job. Ive been dedicated to my job for the opportunity given to come out to California and enjoy life from a total different perspective, but more so Ive been dedicated because I need to prove to myself I can survive this hard world to do and be anything I damn well please. My job has been a constant struggle, and not for the reasons one would think. I am capable of doing the given duties to the most precise detail, however the real challenges of the job lie outside that of the specified title. Work has moved me from the Central Valley to almost an immediate vast commute to South Bay (119 miles). The opening in South Bay was the most testing, high volume position in the entire state of California and I walked right in taking all the tasks on and slowly from that point defining the position to a level some say has never been done or endured. 9 people have held my job previously in the past 3 years, none lasting as long as I have. I became the backbone of the entire organization while enduring a new boss unfamiliar with our business, but a close and known companion to his boss whom was also new to our prestigious company. My job description at that point became to do my job, run the region, and "train my boss to know the business" as it was put to me. Are you for real?? Teach my boss how to do his job?? Well I guess someone had to do it considering his boss was also unexperienced in our field but had the papers and past salaries to be in the position. Sure, experience in shoes is the same as highly sophisticated bikes.
Ive worked insane hours. Ive missed out most weekends and evenings with the few social bonds I have created for myself. My physical training and those associated goals have suffered. Returning to school on the side to achieve those specified objectives has endured the same fate. Ive put aside many of the goals and reasons I have come to the Bay Area to focus on my job and do the absolute best I could do until my next opportunity arose.
Hence, the past few days some interesting events have taken place. First, my boss was originally terminated for his inability to do his job. Not only was he incapable of doing his job and being the team leader, he was always late and took no ownership of his position. I remember countless days calling his boss because mine was unavailable and the situation was overlooked or avoided until it got to the point it could no longer be ignored. Since being terminated, his position has been "reconsidered" and he has basically been demoted to my position. "I feel said person needs time to learn the role and will eventually be put back into the position he was removed from after he proves his knowledge and skills".
As this situation has progressed I have been doing his job and my job for the same pay. Despite taking on these unwanted responsibilities, his boss has progressively been more harsh and distant to me for no good reasons through our conversations lately. Blame for situations I wasnt involved in. Accusations which were completely unjust.
Well today it turns out there was a good reason:
I received a phone call by my boss's boss and was told to meet him in San Francisco on MY DAY OFF tomorrow. "Meet me downtown San Francisco, we'll pay you for your commute, and there are a few things I want to discuss about the companies refocus."
Okay.
After about an hour time period I basically piece everything together with no hints and respectfully return the call.
"Actually tomorrow is my DAY OFF and I would like to not spend the eve and morning of my DAY OFF worrying about the fate of this ordeal...........lets take the opportunity to meet today, regardless of where and when"
Said boss responds "Okay, meet me in the Walnut Creek region right now". You should be here in about an hour and a half.
Five minutes later Im in 6 lanes of traffic headed north, angry as all hell.
How did I get into this position? Ive done my job to the point where there could be no question about my abilities and why am I being shafted for the incompetency of my boss, despite their friendship???? How could this realistically be about to happen??
Game Face On. My friends and those reading this know me as a joking, friendly person. Some of those same people also know my seriousness and intellectual comprehension when the time is called upon to act.
So We Meet For "Lunch". How Pleasant.
I should mention I also get pulled over by the CHP and receive a non-moving violation for talking on a cellphone while driving. I was calling 411 to get information on the street address for the restaurant where we are to meet.
Anyways.
I park at Safeway to avoid paying the meters and figure the walk will clear my thoughts of what exactly Id like to say. An overwhelming concentration of older, hot women are on display with the task of filling their pantries while their hard at work significant others pay the tab. One pauses and smiles as we cross paths. Yeah baby, I know................right now Ive got business to take care of. Ill look you up later.
As I descend upon my fate I stand next to a young hippy strumming his miniature guitar as he patiently waits for the flickering white stick figure to flash indicating its safe to cross the street. From my perspective, this guy doesnt have a care in the world. He's playing a song, nodding his head as he probably sings the lyrics from within. I bet I could play that track on Guitar Hero I think to myself. Next to Beck is a family of three. Looks like a little midday shopping trip to the expensive stores of the strip. Mom and Dad interacting with their daughter as they all gaze at a purse with a gold buckle that reflects a fraction of the sun's rays directly into my polarized sunglasses. I could probably live for 3 months off that virtual bling. Look at us as we stand here waiting for authorization to continue our journeys. 3 groups of people having 3 total different outcomes of their day. One group appreciates the material gifts life can bring. Another appreciates a simpler satisfaction. Then there lies me, calmly debating life's irony and un-relentlessness. Instantaneously throughout the world everyone goes through their own individual experience of the countless faces of life forementioned. Within a few seconds the traffic lights change and we all depart upon our individual fate with different strides that separate our bond and commonplace.
Interaction as I see my boss's boss ahead.
(Smiling)"Hi Mike, thank you for meeting with me so quickly"
Me: "Fuck You"
Okay I didnt really say that part.
Me: "Hello ----, Ive been contemplating the course of this conversation since you brought this meeting to my attention so suddenly today. Basically, Ive figured out everything that I assume is about to be said". (Also somewhat smiling)
Boss Man: "Okay well if thats the case lets hear where you assume Im headed".
Me: "Well, my boss's inabilities to do his job has brought about his demotion into my position. You dont have the payroll to have us both doing the same job, so you have decided that you are going to utilize my abilities in another location to settle the issue. I figure first you are going to praise me for the job I have done and convince me the relocation to East Bay is a promotion and an opportunity by giving me a small increase in pay which probably wont justify the gas and time involved. If I dont buy that route and pass on your offer, I have a strong suspicion you will change the conversation to the fact that since my boss couldnt do his job, my work wasnt satisfactory and this is a chance to redeem myself and save my job."
Boss Man: Absolutely Speechless.
Tick Tick Tick. Random thoughts fill my mind throughout the course of the day as I my brain goes into hyperdrive in a fight or flight response. Damn its cold up here I think to myself. I always underestimate how cold the San Francisco area is with the Bay Winds, especially spoiled by the warmth of San Jose. My contacts are killing me today. I shouldve prolly worn my glasses to give my eyes a break but figured they would adapt as the day progressed. Why am I even in this situation, Im so above this job and I shouldve gotten another one by this point which pays more or requires me to work less hours and weekends. Oh yeah, my workload doesnt really allow me time to aggressively search for another position.
Boss Man: (voice struggling with stress as it changes tones like a teenage boy going through puberty) Mike, I really like you. I feel you are a talented individual that has the ability to go far with us, so Id like to take you out of the situation you are in and put you in a little lower volume region where I can really dial your skills." The tension in his voice wasnt from fear naturally, but instead that of knowing he was being unfair. My boss's replacement was from the area he was attempting to send me as an easy fix.
This is straight up insulting. Im not a moron. Damn my eyes really hurt.
Me: "I apologize for the red eyes, Ive been struggling with my contacts all day today. Honestly, I dont completely believe your reasonings as these issues have never been raised before and I can sense the tension in your voice. I understand the position you are in and Id like to know my options. What if I say no? I purposely researched San Jose from 3000 miles away and decided ultimately that was where I fit into The Bay. The riding is fantastic. The beach is so close. Its always sunny and warm. It took me months to find an apartment in San Jose while commuting from Central Valley because this is where the company wanted me to be. This is where the company needed me. I have since settled. Ive found my routine and comforts. I know when and where roads will be jammed or empty. I know where to get the best pizza in the city. I know where and what nights all the best house music in San Jose is offered. I know how to get to everything I need to know to survive.
What are my realistic options?"
Boss Man: "Well basically, you are due for a review of your work. I could give you a raise to compensate you for this change or commute"
Me: "My review was due in March. Its August. You want to give me a small increase in pay based on the fact that my work in San Jose wasnt satisfactory? This doesnt make much sense to me ------. My recently demoted boss and I talked after your initial phone call as he told me of your attempt to send him this same route and his instant refusal"
Boss Man: "Mike. Please make this transition easy on me. You are single right. You'll love being more north, a fresh look at Bay Life. Ill talk to HR and see what I can do about a pay raise."
Me: "Honestly, this company has been a let down in just about every way since Ive jumped aboard. The only reason Ive endured the situation was because I wasnt ready to give up and go back East. No Job means I have to move home considering the crippling cost of life here. I dont desire to be where my boss is or where you are career-wise. My chosen path is a different choice. Why dont you pink slip me, and then the company can pay me to find a new job?"
Boss Man: Speechless
Maturity works in funny ways. A few years ago Id be so scared to be sitting on this chair facing upper management. Today, I am focused, blunt, and owning this conversation. Absolutely no fear, no vulnerability to corporate tactics. I watch his body language as he searches for answers. Silence fills the cool, sunny air. My short hair blows in the wind. The sun feels so good as it warms my skin. The heat of its rays feel like a hot water bottle made to soothe your entire body. I take in the majestic landscape of blue skies, light brown grassy hills, and contradicting sporadic dark green forestry that paints the jagged canvas as I contemplate my fate in the void of a response.
Boss Man: "What Id like you to do at this point is consider what we've discussed. I need you to help me with this, and Ill see what I can do for you. Think about this situation through the course of your day off. If you decide to help me out, this will pay off for you later down the line as Ill be a significant resource for you as you seek those positions you mentioned. You are a very talented individual. If you decide otherwise, you will be scrutinized in your current position and corrective actions will be taken very aggressively."
I pause. I look the man in his face, deep into his eyes. He's almost totally grey with a few speckles of a brownish/redish hue which must have been that of his original hair color. He's overweight but not obese, he could stand to ride some. His foot is shaking as its crossed upon his other leg. We exchange deep stares. We size each other up.
Me: "Well Ill consider everything we discussed today. Basically I need to suffer the consequences of my boss's inability to do his job thoroughly. Thanks for your time today and dealing with this situation immediately so I didnt have to sleep on this conversation"
A firm handshake.
Boss Man: "Id like you to go visit all the clients you will be covering in this area. Take the rest of the day to do so and see what you think. A few of the guys are expecting you"
Yeah, a few guys like those that Ive lead for the past 7 months in which depend on me to support them through the companies ever changing roles and business plans. Ive got to the point I anticipate those changes and have my crew ready for the ever accumulating workload. I know a few of those same guys are expecting me to tell this guy to go straight to hell.
So I do what any self respecting human being would do, I go home. I decide the workday was long enough despite his instructions and as I head south, I turn my phone to the 'off' position. Windows Up and the World Closed Out, I bask in the sun through my windshield listening to the air pass over my ride and the workload of my 4 cylinder engine as I slice my way through 6 lanes of traffic like a virtual game of OutRun.
Sometimes the sun feels so good. Despite its harsh effects I wish I could capture its pleasure in pill form.
"Why have I even allowed myself to be in this position with all the talents I have to offer?", I think to myself.
This will not be my demise. Im stronger than this, I know. California's constant resistance must eventually become futile and with good reasoning to explain its never ending bullying.
I hope........
Tests can be fun and challenging as long as they are indexed and one knows of their eventual end.
Im hungry, I think Ill eat. I got some leftover garlic, whole wheat pizza I could have warmed and ready to eat within minutes upon arrival at my pad. Ill take out these contacts which have me in complete agony. Take a long, hot shower to allow myself to relax. Maybe Ill sleep for a bit as Im still recovering from a past weekend owned by work.
One thing is certain - hours from now the saturating sweat, deep basslines, and floetic body movements of total release await my arrival as the warm California Sun succumbs to the cool, clear darkness of Night.
What will I do? Will I tell this guy and his joke of a company to kiss my skinny, white ass? Or will I do what the Ordinary Joe would do - hang my head in embarrassment of my own mortality and need for a paycheck, take the position and its joke of a pay raise to inconvenience my life to another level - yet again. Thus, ultimately waiting until I can work my way into something else?
To Be Continued.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
