A Salesman Is Born

Back to the Left Coast means Back to Work.

Back to the infinite process of fine tuning my life. Back to becoming a better dancer. A superior bike rider. A higher tuned athlete. And lately..........a dollar turning SALESMAN.

For all of those that know me Ive never tried to sell anyone anything in life. Even when I had my own business I had a reputation for being pressure free. People would invest in me knowing they would leave with exactly what they needed. In my current line of work, I always viewed myself as an informant who helps someone find what they are looking for by teaching them about how specific products could benefit their life or enhance their skillset at the smallest impact to their checking account as opposed to they guy in the plaid suit and bowtie who tries to sell you backyard squirrel zappers. Picture a giant, amped up bug light zapper with bird feed in the middle that bakes a furry tailed rodent from raw to overcooked in nanoseconds. Add some savory spices and special sauce to the handy, removable tray and you got yourself an automatic barbeque friend. Those pesky squirrels are history and as a bonus you dont even have to worry about dinner.

That said, seems like everywhere I go someone is trying to sell me something. If I go to the grocery store, the layout designers are trying to sell me baked goods, dvds, and hair combs when all I really want is tea, chocolate, and maybe some oranges and chicken. Speaking of fruit, Apple is trying to sell me overpriced mp3 players by using bright, savy sillhouette dancers on billboards, internet, and tv ads that convince me I need one of their devices to find my inner groove. And Ill be honest, those ads are so brilliant and fun that I want one of whatever they are selling - whether it be an electronic device, a multi-functional phone, or furniture polish. If I could dust my coffee table and have the kind of fluorescent fun shown in their marketing ads, Ill take a dozen.

Back to the original intent of the post, my car insurance agent sends me pamphlets on how I cant afford to live without homeowners insurance when they have the most current information that I infact fact rent an apartment. Fake friends selling me on their sincerity and genuineness. Shopping for a car???....Then you could finish my next sentence. I come home from a hard day of work and countless marketing assaults in a place I pay to live only to find daily restaurant coupons and/or menus taped to my door, and being that I live in the Bay Area seems like the majority of those ads are for either Sushi or Burritos, and I dont indulge on either. I try to watch a movie for entertainment and Im conveniently reminded to buy Coca Cola and JIF Peanut Butter. Subway Sandwiches selling me on being skinny. Everyone that knows me is aware of just how much I need to be skinny. Hell, even cute little geckos and ever living Cave Men are trying to sell me. To top it all off, people and companies are even trying to sell me products at my place of work in person and on the phone where, guess what????......................................our business is to SELL goods and services!!

All of the above considered, my level of toleration surpassed by people trying to impose their will on me daily, as well as the simple lack of excitement lately has made this raw, competitive bboy decide to elevate my selling skills just for the simple thought. Afterall, its a capitalist society and the key to capitalism is SELLING! Might as well be a Salesman.

My position at my company doesnt require me to directly sell and I am paid for an entirely other skill set such as industry trends and personnel/product training, however lately I have been taking every opportunity available to just straight up SELL. This 'skill' has absolutely no effect on my current job status and wont give me any promotion or return other than the satisfaction that If im visiting one of our stores and a customer stops me to ask advice on a product, Im selling them for the time invested. Ive even been analyzing in my brain that I may be overselling during a specific conversation Im engaged in with a customer, and still I just push it to the next level to fine tune this newly acquired ability and see just how far people will go. Besides, people like to take the opportunity to boast about how much cash they make and the irrelevant things they own - at times even when they dont - so now I turn that into convincing them they need ear warmer-warmers. You never know when the experience of being able to SELL may pay dividends in the future.


A guy comes in one of our stores with his newly found girlfriend and challenges my knowledge to try and seem dominate and all knowing........."show your girl you take her commitment to the sport serious by buying her this titanium railed womens specific saddle", hes most likely too stuck on impressing her to say no. A silver haired executive shows up in his freshly detailed, yellow porsche conveniently parking where everyone can see his ride?.........homie's getting a $4000 carbon bicycle just to ride to the mailbox. The guy with dreads in front of whole foods who hits me up with his jingling can for some different charity every single time I walk by the store.........he's going home with everything I can fit into his rusted out volkswagen bug which most likely runs on biofuel. "Buy this product.....its eco-friendly and all the proceeds go to some rich guy's special cause"

SELL! UPGRADE! ACCESSORIZE!

I thought everyone would find this post humorous knowing me as a person, but even more so I needed to document that its been an interesting experiment. I realize just how much more you can actually convince a person they need to 'enhance their life experience' or in some cases just to 'keep up with the Jones'.

Let this be a lesson that perhaps we all are living in excess. Be a consumer of how to live life to its absolute fullest. How much do we really need to survive and be happy? Come see me at work and Ill try convincing you just how much........